The Road Captain lured by Digital Assistant; Members Left Wandering Across Five Counties

Lets start off by saying that any day where everyone makes it back home safely is a good day. Add on that there were no mechanical woes that stranded anyone and we have a great day. To those ends, we had a great day today (September 14, 2024). Seven Sandies rode 252 miles for ice cream and food.

Six of us met at GTD this foggy morning, but only one enjoyed breakfast. George walked in an immediately announced that we will be riding Hwy 20. There were a few curious glances, but the comment was largely directed towards JoeJoe and I (Waldo).

We had a few email exchanges during the planning portion of this ride. JoeJoe was elated to have the .gpx file import into his Navi without fanfare (imagine foreboding font utilized for emphasis). I on the other hand was protesting, ok flat out whining, because riding Hwy 20 is about as much fun as getting a root canal.

Just a few minutes before the start we meander out to start donning all of the appropriate safety gear. Munchkin gets a little sidetracked talking bike accessories, but got back on course just n the nick of time. Just as the wheels start to spin, we hear Tony G come over comms and say "wait, hold up". I don't think we ever knew what the issue was, but he got it sorted in a few minutes. Ok, now we were off. Tommy (GQ) met up with us as we rode through Bluewater Bay, and our sextet was officially a septet. Everything seemed to be perfectly normal. It was still a little foggy near the water, and Hwy 20 delivered on it's promise. We were fortunate to not be behind a group of vehicles holding up traffic (read as we were a large group of bikes holding up traffic).

We turned up 79 and stop to stretch in Vernon. Not much to see of Vernon where we were, but they do appear to be doing extensive work reusing old shipping containers. As soon as we were back on the road, we started noticing a peculiar behavior from our Road Captain. Before he would speak to us on the radio, he would call for us; he called for Sam often. When any of us would respond, he wouldn't say anything. A minute or two later, he would repeat this pattern.

"Hey Sam?" asked George

"Yeah ******" replied Sam (redacted for our squeamish readers)

Silence for 90+ seconds. Eventually, "Hey Joe?" George would ask.

"Umm yeah George?" replied JoeJoe

Silence again. This pattern continued until the Cat Herder missed the next turn. As he's sharing his distain for the electronic hell he has found himself in, JoeJoe cuts back on to exclaim that it's OK, Navi didn't want us to turn there anyways. The Cat Herder thinks we might be able to loop around - nope middle of the two lane roadway we have to u-turn back the way we came. Making a left onto our previously missed right, the fun really began. One by one, our GPS systems started redirecting us in endless waypoint loops. As best as I could tell either we had some waypoints slightly off the roadway, or they were simply in the wrong order. Either way, the Garmin devices and the Navi were not happy. A short while later we made a right when we should have gone straight. That's when George tells us that every time he would say something (i.e. "Hey -insert name-") Siri would start talking to him.

We quickly realized that our Road Captain was being seduced by Siri's siren song. Unlike the fabled Beowulf, we did not have our Cat Herder tied to a mast for safety. So we were left alone to perilously wander through the backroads on our own.

We revert to calling out the various directions our devices show and guiding our Cat Herder extraordinaire by committee. Even with JoeJoe's Navi in the mix, we somehow managed to complete our journey across NWFL to a dessert oasis. After enjoying some refreshing ice cream from the Ocheesee Creamery in front of the Shady Nook Farm, George announces that we will be heading to Jim's Buffet and Grill in Marianna.

We thank them for all of their gifts from the bottom of our hearts.

Tommy is slightly disappointed with this news as he just had ice cream. Nevertheless, Sandies must endure! We took a much more cautious route (straight up HWY 69 to 90) to Jim's. We get in, eat, have some laughs and hydrate. Afterwards, we head back on 90... nearly the whole dang way. The Cat Herder disabled his headset to avoid calamity. Boredom and heat exhaustion have set in firmly. Munchkin was not having great luck with his cruise control, and found himself rotating between lane positions. Tony G was taking in the sights of the road and the five hundred roadside flea market/garage sale stands lined up along the way. GQ peeled off to get more water and to stretch. However, the Cat Herder still had his headset disconnected. By the time he realized we were missing a rider we were miles down the road. GQ passed us a half hour later while we were stopped for fuel and a rest. Sticking to his namesake, GQ stopped and waited for us to catch back up.

Overall it was a day filled with small oddities and annoyances. You know, all of the stuff that can frustrate and distract a rider on the road. The Sandies stayed positive. We cracked self depreciating jokes, and keeping on moving forward. I suppose that's what separates our humble club from the rest.

We keep reminding each other of the silver linings and the assortment of puns you could use in the situation at hand. Whether genuine or sarcastic, we keep a smile on our faces.